It’s been almost a month since I was asked by a music professor to host Downhere, Jason Gray and Lanae Hale for their first day off in the midst of Centricity Music’s “Bethlehem Skyline” Christmas tour in early December. By agreeing to do so, I was giving up a five-month plan to attend Chris Tomlin’s Christmas stop in Chicago the same day, but it proved a worthy sacrifice.

Somewhat unfamiliar with all three acts, it was a day to become acquainted with new people and new music. As songwriters, performers and people, the Downhere guys have acquired a new fan. Although I’m currently hooked on their “How Many Kings” Christmas project … I am armed with digital downloads from their newest project, “Ending is Beginning,” for some post-holiday play.

Jason Gray and Lanae Hale were equally engaging … the students listened as they shared songwriting struggles and success. During an acoustic set that evening, Jason shared his thoughts behind his newest project (and song), Everything Sad Is Coming Untrue. Inspired by a quote of Samwise Gamgee in “The Lord of the Rings,” Everything Sad Is Coming Untrue focuses on renewal. “God’s redemption plan is already in effect. It’s not for ‘someday when,’ it’s for right now, in this moment. Even when the worst is happening, the seeds of its undoing are already sown,” states Gray.

He caught my heart … and, even more, my hope. Could the sadness, difficulty and pain of the last 20+ years undo itself? I’ve experienced how God brings blessing in the midst of struggle, without question, but the presence of long-term struggle can diminish future expectations. Survival defines success, brokenness becomes the norm.

This fall broken pieces started to find their place in an unexpected but fulfilling new ministry opportunity, Hope Shows. Hope Shows advances the surrounding hope of Christian music where it’s most needed, including prison concerts. The ending of a twelve-year career in higher ed marketing has turned into a significant new beginning in the process of sad things becoming untrue.

Those of you who have birthed, adopted or fostered children have experienced fear and stress – mixed with excitement – prior to the arrival of a new child turn to feelings of fear and inadequacy as you tend to the new life in your hands. Childbirth marks the end of a season of pregnant preparation and pain, and the start of a new life, a new thing … and it doesn’t take long to realize you don’t have a clue as to how to take care of this infant being.

That’s how I feel about the new ministry that God has called me to … and as I counted on Him to teach me to raise my children (now 16, 17 and 19), I find myself equally dependent on Him to direct the paths of this new organization. I’m excited about the new project, but overwhelmed by the care it will require to grow. Even so, as God entrusted me with Taylor, Will and Hunter, He has entrusted me with Hope Shows.

I haven’t done it all right with my family, as my sons will quickly tell you, but I have given it my heart, mind, strength, soul and every other part of me that I could. God seems to have taken this desire and effort and grown three active little boys into three incredible young men (because of me, in spite of me and so much beyond me). The only way I know to approach this new ministry is with the same energy, heart and hope … that God will grow the impact of Hope Shows with a little planting and watering on my end (and the HS board, industry partners, donors, etc. ).

I know I won’t do it all right with Hope Shows. And I’ve already faced concerns over my abilities in certain areas (and thus will seek help as I did with child rearing). I’m already struggling with whether or not I can raise up this work, but, as with my children, I can only acknowledge that God has seen fit to put this baby in my hands – along with others in relationship with me – irregardless of ability, and I will do the best I can to nurture it as long as He allows.

It’s the season for new birth … for saving, life-giving, redeeming hope found in the only begotten Son of God. In the midst of my uncertainty, I’m choosing to celebrate new direction, new vision, new sad things coming untrue.

Moving forward often involves letting go … and at least for a season, I am letting go of a few prior investments, including this earlier idea for ministry. Single Hope was my idea for a blog, but Hope Shows was His idea for a comprehensive ministry … and it’s the right fit. The Hope Shows team would love your prayers and support and we tend to this young organization.

Called to one Hope this holiday season, Merry Christmas … Robyn

Posted under Emotional Health, Hope Shows, Media Resources, Music, Spiritual Health

When you’re broken in a million little pieces
And you’re trying but you can’t hold on anymore
Every tear falls down for a reason
Don’t you stop believing in yourself
When you’re broken

Better days are gonna find you once again
Every piece will find its place

“Broken” from Broken Bridges and performed by Lindsey Haun.

I share a popular appreciation for stained-glass windows and hope to soon realize a long-held interest in creating stained-glass art.

A few weeks ago I observed a stained-glass class in session, viewing projects at different stages in the process … etching the pattern, cutting the glass, breaking the pieces, smoothing the glass edges, covering the edges with copper, fitting the pieces in the design and soldering the pieces together.

It’s a pain-staking process – literally – cutting, breaking, sanding and soldering (in addition to the constant risk of cutting yourself on the glass ), but as the new creation takes shape it quickly becomes apparent that all the pain and effort is worth it. When the light shines through the finished product, it’s spectacular … extraordinary.

Like many others I’ve found myself pretty overwhelmed by the broken pieces of my personal life wrought over the years, and no more so than when my professional life broke this summer.

I didn’t lose hope, as God has brought me far enough along in the journey to trust Him more than I have in the past, but I did find myself holding a bunch of pieces … unsure of what to do with them. I’m thankful I had pieces – experiences, failures, skills, mistakes, education, strengths, weaknesses, productivity, passions – but I had no clue of what God may have in mind.

I also had a promise. A few days after I was released from my job, a new acquaintance told me that God had given her a word for me (a new experience for me ). She said, “He’ll show you what you’re supposed to do.” She also told me to wait on Him for the new thing He had in mind.

So with pieces in hand I decided to finish what I had already started, while I waited for God to reveal His new plan. I went on a twelve-day Christian music festival tour observing three successful festivals in the northern US on behalf of AgapeFest. I continued the foster parenting process I had begun in June, and am currently in the middle of a nine-session training program. And under the name of Hope Shows I promoted two concerts on “The HOPE Tour” with Fireflight, Remedy Drive and Abandon … shows I had initiated months ago.

I knew that two of the pieces I was holding were event production experience and a passion for advancing Christian music, but, as much as I enjoyed the opportunity and the bands, I knew after promoting these dates that my professional life was going to need to be about a little more than this long-term. I’m not knocking the life of a promoter … it’s a tough, risky business and I respect those who invest their career in it. But I just felt God had given me a few other pieces that this path wouldn’t completely satisfy.

Those pieces included a deep desire to encourage people struggling with depression and a previously dormant interest in prison ministry.

While contemplating a future for my pieces, I had a fateful conversation with Jeremiah Beck, station manager and morning co-host of WIBI (AC Christian radio station, Carlinville, IL). We had plans to partner in an upcoming Remedy Drive concert in Springfield, IL. I suggested we make the event about more than just a concert and threw out the idea that maybe we could provide an incentive for people to bring new CDs for a prison library “or something.”

He responded with, “Do you want to do a concert in a prison?” to which I said a resounding, “Yes.”

Over the next few weeks piece after piece began to fall into place. Event production … advancing the message in Christian music … marketing and fundraising … AND … a re-awakened interest in prison communities, previously stirred in me following a family friend’s incarceration, and now deepened through a personal understanding of choices and situations that can hold us captive. When one of the prison chaplains shared his concern for the emotional health of the women in his facility, I just smiled. I think God plans to use my experiences battling depression to encourage these women … and many others, I hope.

A simple question about a concert has already led to two “Hope Rocks with Remedy Drive” shows/fundraising events, the incorporation of Hope Shows as a nonprofit organization, the development of the Hope Rocks Campaign “to advance the surrounding hope of Christian music,” a December prison show with Sara Groves, two prison visits and numerous new contacts in the prison system.

I don’t have all the answers for every piece I’ve been holding, and I’ll keep waiting on Him to put a few more into place, but, for the ones He’s put together, I am so thankful. The peace that comes with purpose cannot be overrated.

I had some creative ideas for the future , but He’s taken these pieces and done something even better than all I could “ask or imagine” (Ephesians 3:20). I can’t wait to get Sara Groves, WIBI and WCIC in front of 600 women inmates this holiday season. I pray His light will shine through this new work He’s created on to each community with which He connects us.

I just finished listening to a Beth Moore series called, “Delight in Him,” in which she challenges the audience to “get all the way in … commit … spend yourselves on behalf of others … pour yourself out. … You cannot delight from a divided heart.”

“God never wastes anything. Nothing about your life, if you entrust it to Christ, will ever have been in vain. Nothing. Every hurt turns into something that means something. Every loss turns into something that means something. Every loss turns into a gain in Christ. Every time. Every pain, every failure,” she states. “Keep moving your feet … one day you’ll understand all of it.”

In her Bible study, Stepping Up, Beth reminded me of Psalm 126:5-6, “Those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy. He who goes out weeping, carrying seed to sow, will return with songs of joy, carrying sheaves with him.”

I don’t understand all the pieces in my possession, but I’m all in … and at some point, I trust, so will be the rest of the pieces.

Hope Shows advances hope through event production and related resources. Focused on spiritual, emotional and relational wellness, the organization connects hurting communities to the one Hope of healing. The Hope Rocks Campaign serves as the primary communication initiative of Hope Shows, accelerating the distribution of Christian music to individuals and communities where it is most needed.

God of Justice, Saviour to all
Came to rescue the weak and the poor
Chose to serve and not be served

Jesus, You have called us
Freely we’ve received
Now freely we will give

We must go live to feed the hungry
Stand beside the broken
We must go
Stepping forward keep us from just singing
Move us into action
We must go

“God of Justice” by Tim Hughes

Posted under Emotional Health, Hope Rocks Campaign, Hope Shows, Media Resources, Music

Updated November 8, 2009

The mission of SingleHope.com is “to advance hope in the lives of those struggling with depression and disconnection.” I started SingleHope.com out of a desire to share my story – my testimony – of the struggles and God-breathed successes experienced on a journey with depression, single parenting and single living. I am a daughter of the Father, single mother of three college and high school-aged sons, marketing consultant and founder of Hope Shows (www.HopeShows.com).

Hope Shows was established in October 2009 “to advance hope through event production and related resources. Focused on spiritual, emotional and relational wellness, the organization connects hurting communities to the one Hope of healing.”

The HopeRocks Campaign (www.HopeRocksCampaign.com) serves as the primary communication initiative of Hope Shows, accelerating the distribution of Christian music to individuals and communities where it is most needed. The Hope Rocks Campaign will address two initiatives:

• Initiative #1: Distribute Christian music via events, CD libraries and radio to prisons, rehabilitation programs, counseling centers and mental health facilities. Proceeds from the sale of “HopeRocks” merch will supplement donor gifts designated for this purpose.
• Initiative #2: Direct attention, prayer and financial support to the ministries founded by – or partnering with – Christian music artists. Hope Shows will donate 10% of profits or gifts received by the organization to these ministries.

Under construction at Single Hope:  “Rehearse Hope,” a evening of refreshment for women featuring Christian worship artists and speakers, and joint effort with Hope Shows;  “Pink Cards” gift card initiative serving single moms; and “Desert Rose Designs,” the merchandise hub of Single Hope. Desert Rose Designs products will feature the hope-inspired lyrics of Christian music artists. Proceeds from the sale of Desert Rose Designs will support the mission and ministries of Single Hope.

With the initial framework of this new ministry in place, first steps were made toward the early implementation of each initiative. Hope Shows, in conjunction with RockStock Company, presented The HOPE Tour (Fireflight, Remedy Drive and Abandon) shows in Greenville, IL and Indianapolis, IN October 7 & 8. All the stress of promoting concerts (it’s hard work!) proved worth the effort as nearly 500 teenage, college and adult guests rocked out to an incredible message of hope.

Next up … Hope Shows and the Hope Rocks Campaign are partnering with WIBI to present two Hope Rocks events with Remedy Drive on November 16 (Belleville, IL) and November 17 (Springfield, IL). In addition to experiencing the evenings’ entertainment, guests will be given the opportunity to “Pay HOPE Backward” by purchasing a $10 concert ticket for a prison inmate to attend a concert at their Illinois state or federal prison … people and facilities in desperate need of one Hope.

VIP ticket holders will receive access to a meet-n-greet with the artists, first-choice seating and a first edition “HopeRocks” t-shirt with their $25 ticket purchase, in addition to a $10 donation for a “Pay HOPE Backward” concert ticket. Pre-sale general admission seating is also available at $7 per ticket. General admission tickets at the gate will be $10.

Pending the proceeds raised by these two shows, at least one concert (possibly two) will bring hope for the holidays to an area prison. The really cool thing about the relationship between WIBI, Hope Shows and our Illinois prisons is that in most cases, inmates are not allowed to have listening devices such as CD players, ipods, etc. in their rooms, but they do have access to radio.

Through these prison shows, WIBI and Hope Shows will build awareness of Christian music and realtionships with Christian radio … surrounding them with the hope found in the gospel-inspired lyrics of Jeremy Camp, Chris Tomlin, Addison Road, Tenth Avenue North, Needtobreathe, DecembeRadio, Remedy Drive and more. I’m just a little pumped about the potential ministry impact of these events.

Seems like a lot at once? Yes. As we test the waters with various initiatives, we welcome your prayer, feedback and support.

Posted under Emotional Health, Media Resources, Music, Single Hope

Do butterflies cry before they fly?
Does a baby bird ever despair before its first breath of air?
Does a rosebud feel pain as it blooms?

Must a season of struggle precede strength?
Must past pain and new life come as a pair?

I believe God leaves nothing to chance.
And each challenging circumstance dares us to dance.
I just wish I could glance at the end result in advance.

It was a hell of a weekend … before anyone gets too offended, I use the word literally. For those who struggle with depression, a bad day can feel akin to what hell may feel like, an ungodly experience. Loneliness, stress, pain and biological factors combined to create “the perfect (emotional) storm”… thus, I spent the weekend of the verge of – and overwhelmed by – tears.

Although I am very thankful for the emotional healing God has brought about in my life, and for medicine that usually keeps my biological predisposition to depression in check, once a month I often experience a PMS-induced “dip” in my emotions. Since I know the cause of this regular cycle of emotional struggle, I can usually press through the days with little, if any, interruption. But when mixed with other triggers, such as loneliness, stress, lack of sleep, pain or loss, these days can feel – on occasion – unbearable.

Last night as I laid down to sleep I tried to process the difficult weekend, recognizing the presence of many of these triggers in the previous few days. Understanding was accompanied by exhaustion. I was starting to feel better, but I was tired. Different people respond to emotional struggle in different ways … in my case, I cry. It’s how I release the emotional pressure.

But hope was still present. All weekend. I was overwhelmed by loneliness, tense with stress, sad, concerned, confused and tired … but I believed it was just a season. I didn’t know when relief would come, but I knew it would eventually arrive.

In trying to define my current state as I nodded off, the image of a Monarch butterfly trying to break out of its chrysalis came to mind. I went to sleep wondering if a butterfly ever feels worn out as it invests energy to emerge with new life and beauty?

I remembered this image after I woke this morning, but a new thought came to mind, “Do butterflies cry?” Do they ever get so tired trying to find their way out of their crystallized season of waiting that they pause to weep? Although they believe a beautiful purpose exists on the other side of the struggle, do they ever question if they’ll be strong enough to escape the circumstances that threaten to limit their usefulness or, worse yet, keep them bound up entirely?

After I shared this metaphor with a friend/counselor, she told me that a butterfly’s chrysalis absorbs light from the sun, providing the butterfly with the energy it needs to complete the process. Loved the imagery. There is only one light I know that can deliver enough energy to power this process in my life, and I will continue to draw strength from Him.

As I played with words and images for the opening poem, the one thing that caught my attention with each transformation process was the fact that there’s no turning back. The only way out is forward, through the struggle, to the new life waiting ahead. I believe God has something beautiful ahead. I believe He’s intentionally allowed me to struggle through the last few months of uncertainty and change. I believe He has a plan, and at some point, I trust He’ll reveal it to me.

Until then … I’m “Stepping Up” through the Psalms of Ascent (Psalms 120-134) with Beth Moore, talking to God a little more than usual, reading Battlefield of the Mind by Joyce Meyer, attending to His voice when I read it and hear it, producing a few Christian concerts, developing new initiatives for SingleHope as doors open for ministry, and surrounding my spirit with WIBI, Chris Tomlin, Sara Groves, Brandon Heath, Remedy Drive, Third Day, Addison Road, Skillet and Fireflight … all while seeking God for financial provision and vocational direction.

If you hear someone singing at the top of their lungs this week to Fireflight’s “You Gave Me This Promise,” I apologize in advance.

You Gave Me A Promise
Fireflight

The waves are crashing down on me
But I know that this cannot be the end, be the end…
Right now I feel like copping out
Will You hold me up, if I just say that I will stay

I will hold on to this hope that I have
You gave me a promise
You gave me a promise
I’ll push through this moment, I’ll never give up
You gave me a promise
You gave me a promise

I’m so tired that I can’t stand
But I know that time will heal this heart, heal this heart…
With every door that’s slamming shut
A new one’s there to lead me where You are

You, You call out to me
You’re just out of reach
But I’m closing in
I’m still going, still believing in Your word

Listen on YouTube.

Posted under Emotional Health